Cheesy Flight Attendant
IT'S A PLEASURE TO WELCOME YOU ABOARD
Orange you glad you found these Mach G sunglasses?! They're aviator frames. But that doesn't qualify YOU to fly the plane!!! This is Colby, your Cheesy Flight Attendant. Get it? Colby Jack?!?! That was a thinker. Psst! Everybody on staff knows you like to get high. In the air. By booking a plane ticket!!! These sunnies won't slip or bounce while we crash into a mountain. Kidding, kidding! Laugh a little, will ya?!?! Life is short. Really short, considering how drunk the pilot is right now. J/K! J/K! Geez!!!!
LOOK GOOD, FLY GOODR.
1 NO SLIP
We use special grip coating and silicone nose inserts to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame is flight-weight to prevent bouncing when running, biking, beasting, or exceeding speeds of Mach 5.*
*Not tested at hypersonic speed, but…we’re pretty sure.
3 ALL POLARIZED
The speed of light got nothing on you. These glare-reducing, polarized lenses with UV400 protection blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 ALL SPEED
An all new shape built to give you the ultimate speed advantage whether you're crushing beers or crushing your competition.
5 FREE MILE HIGH CLUB MEMBERSHIP
Included with purchase.
She oozes style and grace...
Nope, wait, that's cheese.
She oozes cheese.
Read our Cheesy Flight Attendant
Origin Story to find out how you too
can be Livin' Velveeta Loca baby!!!>