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If you play side-scrolling video games, then you are at high risk for contracting Side Scroll Eye Roll Disease. Here are 10 common symptoms: Your eyes constantly roll from left to right, no matter how much you fight against it....
Dear Hiring Manager, As an impatient gamer who rushes into battles without any real plan, and a stubborn perfectionist who intentionally dies after making the slightest mistake, I am uniquely qualified for the position of Professional Respawner. During my...
Hello! -- Wakka! Where is the bathroom? -- Wakka wakka wakka wakka? Do you speak English? -- Wakka wakka wakka English? Are you concerned Pac-Man is developing a crippling addiction to pellets? - Wakka wakka wakka Pac-Man wakka wakka wakka...
Most people get it wrong, Thinking a soul is something Gingers lack, When the truth of it is, Gingers all have souls (it’s just that they are black). ~ Introductory stanza to the 18th-century epic poem, “A Ginger‘s Soul” written...
In a narrow 4-3 decision, the Seven Princes of Hell voted for a worldwide blackout to be the next catastrophe to strike mankind during the year 2020. Currently the human race is suffering from a global pandemic, systemic racism, economic...
On December 17, 1903, Orville and Wilbur Wright flew the first controlled flight of an aircraft in Kitty Hawk, NC. However, their behavior during the flight was anything but controlled, according to a newly released recording. Here’s the full transcript....
Jayden and Kayla woke up Christmas morning And ran to their gifts with elation That faded when they read a jaded note warning: “Please lower your damn expectations.” “My elves went on strike, and they make the toys,...
After graduating from Rancho Cucamonga High School on June 12, 2015, best friends Jacob Vandestreek and Austin LaRocco planned a crazy adventure: Take “Captain Blunt’s Red-Eye” from San Francisco, CA, to Sydney, Australia. However, the 18-year-olds were astonished to...
Once upon a time, there was a flamingo CEO named Carl, who loved friends, family and his employees--hahahahahahaha. Sorry. Couldn’t type that with a straight hand. Carl loved getting f***ed up on piña coladas and everything else was just kinda...
On July 2, 1937, aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart mysteriously vanished during an attempt to circumnavigate the world. Decades later, her disappearance still confounds historians, and infuriates Elmer Wincel, a man who asked her out once and got rejected. “That...
We’ve all been in that awkward situation where you get in a fist fight with your enemy and throw them off a precipice to their death. As they plummet in the abyss, they bellow a guttural scream and you open...
1. You’re walking through a meadow and see a sheep stuck on its back. You are not helping it. Why? A. I’m recording a video of it for The Gram. B. I’m setting my laser eyes to turn it into...
